Number Four
Lydia,
As I read your letter recounting these motherhood challenges you’re dealing with, I was reminded of something Jordan Peterson said: “the adventure in your life will be found in responsibility.” He goes on to say that a person’s character is made noble in the delay of gratification and in sacrifice, not through easy, cushy lives. This is undoubtedly a challenging season but this will be a time that shapes you into the best person you can be! You will, of course, have to find ways to navigate all of the new questions that come up but there will be solutions. Maybe you could find someone to watch Sunniva for you once a week (I wish I could be that person for you!). Maybe a white noise machine could help Olga with her sensitivity to noise. You will figure it out! It doesn’t matter that it took you longer than you’d hoped to get to this mentality shift regarding responsibility, the important thing is that you got there at all. You’re doing great. I look forward to hearing what sorts of things end up helping you find your rhythms in this season of life!
Thank you for your encouragement about our awful daycare situation! I am truly so proud of Alder for telling me what was going on and for speaking up for himself and his sister. They started at a new daycare center which, by all appearances, is a really lovely place. I still occasionally feel anxious about leaving them there due to broken trust at the last place. I will take your advice and drop by a couple of times to make sure everything is going as well as it seems. I ended up peeking in on each of their classes a few minutes after dropping them off one morning last week and then picked them up early another day. It was surprisingly reassuring to do this. Thank you for that advice!
Let me know how the tallow balm turns out! If it goes well please send the recipe, I’d love to make some myself as I’m now running low on mine… did you know that one of the reasons tallow is such a good moisturizer is that it can go deeper than just skin level? This is apparently due to the similarities in biology between humans and cows versus that of humans and plants. It makes so much sense and was fascinating to learn!
I’ve been struggling a lot lately with “the 9-5 grind.” I realized when Alder was born that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and thankfully I got to be home with him most of the time but in our current season of life that’s just not possible. Poppy was in regular childcare starting when she was just five months old. It’s hard to see them spending the majority of their days with others when we only get a couple of hours each day together. I so badly want to be the one who takes care of them day in and day out, even though I know that’s also hard. Maybe one day I can make this happen. For now I am just trying to appreciate what we have.
Janie