Number Three
Janie,
I'm so sorry to hear that about the kids’ daycare. I know how tricky daycares can be, but I’m glad you listened to your gut and pulled them out right away. With my experience working in childcare, I know that if something seems off, it probably is, and it’s probably worse than you think. Even though it seems a little weird and awkward, I’ll always encourage parents to spy on their child’s classroom after they’ve dropped them off for the day. I had a couple families do this to me while I was teaching Montessori, it did seem a little strange at first, but it didn’t really bother me because I had nothing to hide. One lucky family did this to the classroom next to me, and they saw the “caregivers” force-feeding their child, and they took them out right away and came back for their belongings later. Anyway, I’m sure it was a difficult decision to make. Especially with how excited you were initially to bring them back to a familiar place. I hope you’re able to figure out a permanent solution soon, and one that you feel totally comfortable with. Alder feeling confident enough to tell you about the hitting and kicking going on is just incredible! You must be so proud of him looking out for Poppy. Such a sweet and protective older brother!
On the topic of daycare, I’ll be honest, I do sometimes wish that I could send Sunny to one for just a few hours a week. This age gap is more difficult than I had anticipated. It’s manageable, but I’m finding that it's very hard to be super involved with Sunny’s creative play time. I haven’t put out materials for painting since The Snort came home. I can tell she desperately misses one-on-one playtime. Snort just can’t get in a good nap while Sunny is up because she’s so sensitive to noise right now. I’m hoping that will change soon because it doesn't feel fair to either of them. For the time being, I’m just going to dedicate my evenings to researching fun activities that we can do together that aren’t super hands-on, so I can have the baby sleeping in my arms.
Mornings are pretty daunting these days, but at least now I have Silouan coming home after work. Last week was absolute chaos while he was away in DC. Now that hell week is over, though, I’m glad we went through it. I very quickly had to figure out how to get everything done around the house with both kids. Another mindset shift- I’ve come to accept that every day is going to be very hard with many challenges, and I’m going to be exhausted by the end of the day. Thinking back on my time before The Snort was born, I was constantly trying to fight the hard life. I was trying to make everything as easy as possible, but not in the “work smarter not harder” sense. The challenges I had to face every day were viewed as inconveniences and interfering with my plan. Dealing with the everyday chaos is way easier to manage when you welcome it, rather than try to run from it. It seems like you already had this attitude while being in school and raising Alder. You've always had more of a go-getter, face the challenges head on type of personality than I ever had. It’s taken me far too long to learn this, but better late than never I suppose!
-Lydia