#24 — A New Year’s Decision To Do Something
Janie,
Since you have so many things to attend to at the moment, and for the foreseeable future, I’ve decided to start titling my letters. This way, when you find the time to go back and read through them, you can choose which ones sound the most worth your time haha
I haven’t been on the New Year’s resolution wagon in awhile, simply because it hasn’t ever worked out for me. Despite this, I do feel encouraged by the idea a fresh start. I was feeling particularly encouraged a little early this time. It started early December when I hit rock bottom and implemented some new habits out of necessity. I’ve done alright with most of them, but working out has been the most consistent, and had it been a New Years resolution I could truthfully say I have been faithful so far.
Because I’ve abused it so much in the past, the word “resolution” has lost all its spark. So I decided to say simply that I have made the decision to get in shape. That sounds better to my jaded ears anyway. But that’s also the hardest part about doing anything - is just deciding to do it. I’ve wanted to start an exercise routine in the past. I wanted to SO bad. But with all the excuses I made for myself, I decided not to. Now I’m two months in and I feel significantly better, despite my sleep deprivation from teething, nightmares, and sleep regressions.
I started “slow”. But “slow” isn’t exactly what I thought it would be. I started with 12 minute yoga sessions. This was definitely the right choice for me because a huge part of yoga is noticing how your body feels as you practice. Being mindful of exactly which muscles to engage while remembering to relax others (this will also be helpful for labor in the future). Through Yoga I am so aware of how bad my form has been in the past. I used to do very intense and sometimes very lengthy exercises (which I always dreaded and struggled to fit in my schedule) and never saw the results I was looking for. That’s because I was doing them all wrong. I wasn’t engaging my core, my posture was terrible, I was rushing through reps. I was sloppy and so were my results. I was convinced if i just pushed through to the end of the session no matter what my form was like I would somehow over time just get better. But I never got stronger. So, my slow start was short workouts putting 100% into every rep, every pose, every breath - and that’s so much more effective than a sloppy 45 minute high intensity session. I like not being shaky in my movement anymore - every move feels strong and intentional. I can feel every move actively working towards my goal. And I’ve never felt that way before. And it’s noticeably making a difference. I’ve started incorporating deep stretches into my routine as well. Now that I feel my strength returning, I’m dabbling in more advanced yoga poses. Ones that require more flexibility. I love having a goal that isn’t just weight loss, but something fun and a little more artsy. It does make me miss doing Arial Silks at Bumbershoot. Maybe I’ll be able to do that again someday.
Anyway, I’m two months in, and I look forward to working out everyday! It’s not on my To-Do list just like brushing my teeth isn’t. It’s so naturally part of my day, and it inspires me to incorporate more movent into other mundane activities too. It’s like I’m addicted to moving my body now because it just feels so good!
Funny side note, I was talking to Prunella about resolutions yesterday because she used to be really into them. But she looked her spread sheet to see what she wrote last year and all it said was “sweet potato” ahaha
-Lydia