Number One
The past month has flown by to say the least. I am thoroughly enjoying the newborn stage this time around. There’s definitely a shift happening in my “mom” brain. I have an all new appreciation for any and every free moment I have. If Sunny is playing happily on her own and I can lay The Snort down for even a moment without crying, I feel like I’ve won the lottery. Maybe not the Mega Millions lottery but one of the smaller ones. So I’ve found that my time management skills are on a whole new level. Even though there's less time in the day to get things done, I somehow find myself checking off more boxes on my to-do list than ever before. One of the more difficult challenges I’ve had to face is that The Snort is a Velcro baby. She really struggles with being away from me or Silouan, but we’re slowly trying to work on figuring out a balance with that. It’s so hard for me not to feel guilty about laying her down even if she’s not crying. And as much as I enjoy the snuggles and bonding, I do feel constantly overstimulated. From the moment I wake up (usually to somebody wailing or banging on the door) to the minute they fall asleep, I’m desperately trying to find some peace and quiet. Taking the kids outside has been my only escape. We've been hitting up all the parks in our surrounding area, the zoo, the Botanical Gardens, filling up the pool on our back patio, and even the Rockwell Beer Garden in Francis Park.
Silouan leaves in a few days for his work trip, and I am really nervous about having to solo parent for the whole week. I’m dreading it so much that at times it’s difficult to appreciate the present moment. My initial plan was to try and keep getting out of the house as much as possible, but starting yesterday, spring weather is officially gone and the Missouri summer heat has rolled in - no rain or thunderstorm in the foreseeable future either. Except for a possible pop up thunderstorm in about an hour, but I’m not holding my breath. It seems that all of my backup plans for making the solo week seem even slightly doable have fallen through, even the weather. I wish there was more helpful advice on the internet about “what to do when your husband leaves you with two under two for a week while everyone you know is busy, even your own mother, and it's going to me a million degrees outside”. If I make it through alive, maybe I’ll be able to get some more content out there on this specific subject. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Once we get through this week, we'll start our new routine as a family - I’ll officially be a stay at home mom with a husband that works a normal 8-5 job (and not have any homework to do in the evening!) It’s funny, I was just thinking about how great it is for Silouan and I to finally have evenings freed to spend together, and my thoughts were interrupted by snoring coming from the couch. We originally had plans to play Mario Kart, but I don’t think that’s going to pan out after all. I’m not mad, though, because I just heard a clap of thunder, so I’m going to go sit on the back patio and finish my beer in the lightening light.
There's not really much to update you on since the last time we talked, but my 40 days postpartum is almost up, and I’ll be returning to church in a little over a week now, and I’m very excited to see everyone again. I guess the biggest update so far is that after two years of sobriety, I’ve decided that I am just a one-or-two-beers-after-the-kids-are-asleep kind of mom. It’s a survival thing. But, overall, things are going very well. I miss you and the kids more than you know. Still hoping to come visit you all soon!
-Lydia